My father gave me this one.
I HAVE NOTICED.....
Everything is farther away than it used to be. It is even twice as far
to the corner and they have added a hill.
I have given up running for the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old days. And
have you noticed the smaller print they use in the newspapers?
There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everybody
speaks in such a low voice, I can hardly hear them.
The material in dresses is so skimpy now, especially around the hips and
waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces. And the
sizes don't run the way they used to. The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
Even people are changing. They are so much younger than they used to be
when I was their age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am.
I ran into an old classmate the other day and she had aged so much that
she didn't recongnize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Really now, they
don't even make good mirrors like they used to.
AGING IS ALSO WHEN....................
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You're 17 around the neck, 43 around the waist, and 96 around the golf
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You're startled the first time you are addressed as "old timer".
You remember today that your wedding anniversary was yesterday.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
You burn the midnight oil well into 9:00PM.
The little grey-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer to your friends who exercise.
You have too much room in the house but not enough room in the medicine
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing cards.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You finally reach the top of the ladder, and find it leaning against the
You join a health club and don't go.
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
You decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it.
Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answer, but nobody asks the questions.
You walk holding your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today".
You turn out the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying
a second coat.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm goes off.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when a pretty girl walks by.